My Relationship with Running Lately

It has been a long time since I have hit the "Publish" button on this blog. I post a lot on my Instagram account and have stayed updated and in contact with people this way. To be 150% honest, running has been really rough for me since I ran the Revel Canyon City Marathon last November. I really didn't want to post a bunch of negative things here so I decided to lay low for a while.

 

I started working with a running coach and trained well for the Revel Canyon City Marathon. I was dealing with shins splints going into the race but I was able to get through those on race day. I felt good about the race and then things just really fell apart for me in ways that I never expected. I ran the first half of the race really strong and felt good (8:02 pace) and then when the hills hit in the second half. I had the worst cramps in my calves for the remainder of the race and I didn't really know what to do. I think I walked and stretched more during the second half then I actually ran. I had taken salt pills so I wasn't really sure what had gone wrong. I trained on the downhill portion of the course but not so much on the second half so maybe that is what I did wrong. I wanted to quit so badly but I didn't have it in me to do it. I ran the first half with a friend that I met on social media and I am so thankful I found her because she helped me out so much that day. She went ahead of me at some point and then I found her again during the last two miles of the race and we finished together.

 

I am not sure how I finished that race in under fours hours (3:58:16) but somehow I did.  It was pretty sad and it really affected me mentally. So many doubts about myself and my ability to run crept into my mind and it has been hard to get passed these thoughts.

I was kind of afraid to run because I wasn't really sure what to expect moving forward so I took it easy for the remainder of November and December.

Then my stepdad lost his battle with cancer right before Christmas and that made things even worse. My family was really affected by his death so it was hard to stay focused.

I even skipped my first race of the year in January because I just wasn't feeling it. I didn't have much desire to run so I started riding my bike. I hooked it up on my bike trainer and that is what I started to do. It has been a good thing. I am sticking with it and it is a great form of cross-training for me. My bike is set up in the loft now in front of the TV and I don't have any excuses not to do something because I can hop on my bike at any time. I actually enjoy it and I might even consider a triathlon in the future.

When I ran, I ran just to run. I kept all of my runs in the single digits and didn't put any pressure on myself. I didn't worry about pace or mileage and that might have started the healing process for me. Running is a very mental thing for me so when my mind is not in the right place it really affects me. I think I am still in "run without goals" mode but I am hoping that I start feeling like myself again really soon. 

I also started running with a group out of my local Fleet Feet running store. I have met a lot of new people and I also spent more time running with people that I already know. I was also able to put some faces with names of people that I just knew from social media. It has been a really good thing. Unfortunately we lost Rudy from our group during one of our runs which was very sad. Count your blessings. You never know when you will lose the ones your love.

Even though I skipped my first race of the year, things really did take a turn for the better in January. I went back to my running club and ran with them when I could. I was also invited to join a Ragnar So Cal team in April so that kind of gave me something to look forward to and stay in shape for. 

I finally started to get back into the longer runs in January but stayed away from signing up for any races. I am glad I did that because it kept the pressure off of me plus I don't like the feeling of not running a race that you paid for even if it is for a good reason.

So here I am in the beginning of a new month. I should be starting to train for my 9th marathon that I supposed to be running in May. I love this course but I am still doubting myself and what might happen to me during the race. I am still working on convincing myself that I am physically capable of running a marathon.

I guess you can say that through all of this, a lot of good things came out this for me. I am hoping that things continue to improve. I even ran a half marathon on Super Bowl Sunday and even though I didn't race it, I feel like I had a good run. I even set a small course PR without pushing myself. It was a step in the right direction for me. I kind of needed a sign that I can still do this running thing without failing.

I hope to be back soon and regain the love that I found for running five years ago. I know it will happen. I just have to believe in myself!

So there you have it. Other than this stuff, life is good. I can't really complain. I believe that good things always come out of something negative. Through this running slump, a lot of positive things have emerged and I am looking forward to making 2016 a comeback year for me! Thank you to everyone for all of your support!

QUESTION:

HOW DO YOU PULL YOURSELF OUT OF A RUNNING SLUMP AND BACK IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION?

My Life Lately...

February started off with the Surf City Half Marathon on 2/1/15 and then it seems like things have really been all over the place since then. While my knee continues to approve, my hip bursitis flared back up after my half marathon and I have just been taking it one day at a time. Work has been crazy busy and I feel like I have really been earning my paychecks lately. I love my job but the first time in a log time, I have been feeling a little overwhelmed to the point where I just want to come home and relax and not go for a run. I never thought I would be saying that but I am so mentally exhausted some days that all I can think of is just throwing on my sweats and laying on the couch with my dogs! These fur babies really bring me a sense of peace when I need it. 

Lets move on to something more positive. If you follow me on Instagram then you know that my son has been on a quest to lose a little bit of weight and he has started running on a regular basis. This meant changing his diet and adding more exercise to his daily routine. He is actually training for his first 5K in April and has been doing quite well. The truth is that he doesn't really like running all that much but he has found himself challenged by it. He can run up to 2.5 miles now and his pace is also improving. We tell him that he does not need to really focus on the pace because that is the least important aspect of reaching his goal. I find myself wanting to run with him because I am so impressed by his progress and I want to be a part his goal. I also work at keeping him motivated and feeling proud of himself. 

He has also dropped about 11 pounds and feels really good about that. He signed up for AYSO soccer this season which also help him improve his fitness. We are really proud of him to say the least.

I guess you can say that I am not giving up on running but I am just learning to accept the obstacles that are thrown my way without stressing out too much. Other than Ragnar So Cal in April, I am glad that I do not have any races on my schedule until May. This will allow me some time to think about how I will approach my race. My hopes are that I will be well and ready for my November marathon where I would really like to set some goals.

How has 2015 been treating you so far?

When is your next race?

2/1/15: Surf City Half Marathon (Half Marathon #20)

This makes half marathon #20 for me. I can't believe that I have ran 20 of these darn things! After seeing the new Beach Cities Challenge medal I decided to sign up for this race at the last minute. I swear I will do just about anything for some nice bling. I have one more race to run in the series before this bad boy is mine!

As I mentioned in my last post, I have a cyst in my left knee that has been causing me all kinds of running problems and pain. I have been in physical therapy for two months and I know that I have lost my endurance and the ability to run at the paces I have in the past. My running confidence has been in the dumps but I knew that I had to pull myself out of this funk and just go and run a race.

I went to the expo on Saturday morning right around the time it opened. There were no lines so we were in and out of there in no time at all. The long sleeved shirts were really nice this year so I has to put in on a take a fun picture with my running buddy!

I had no idea how this race was going to turn out. I didn't want to set any goals for this race because I didn't want to put any pressure on myself and I didn't want to be disappointed either. My other half asked me what my plans were and I told him that I would be lucky to cross the finish line in two hours. Having said that, this is how it went.

I ran this race back in 2013 and I made all kinds of weird mistakes. I wasn't sure if I was ever going to run it again but the medal made me do it! This is a local race for me and the half marathon starts at 7:45 am which means that I can still wake up an hour later than I do to go to work to make it to the race on time.

I woke up at 5:00 am and left the house by 5:45 am. There was no traffic but the parking for this race is kind of crazy. Most of the parking is taken by the marathoners since the marathon starts at 6:30 am versus 7:45 am for the half. Parking is basically on residential streets and you have to walk about a half mile to get to the start. All of the streets were full by the time we arrived but I got lucky and a resident who was parked in front of his house happened to be leaving. He was not happy about all of the parking on his street.

We made our way to the host hotel and used the bathroom and hung out until about 10 minutes before the start. There were so many runners in one place. It was awesome to see all of them from the balcony of the host hotel.

It was 55 degrees at the start with the sun out and shining brightly. I started in the 2:00 hour corral and just ran my own race. I wore my Garmin but told myself not to stare at it but just to find that comfortable pace and stick with it. The first 6 miles flew right by and right around Mile 7 my knee started to feel a little off. I slowed down a little but kept going. It was right around Mile 10 that my knee really started to bother me so I started walking through the water stops from this point on and I slowed down a lot too.

The last 5 miles of the race were tough. It is a straight 5 mile shot to the finish while facing the sun the entire time without any shade whatsoever. I don't wear sunglasses when I run so this part of the course always gets to me. My visor did not do much good and I was feeling pretty warm out there. There were definitely those moments that I felt like giving up but I just told myself to suck it up, run a comfortable pace and finish the darn race. This race was definitely not about the time. It was really about finishing and gaining some confidence back that I have lost over the last few months.

I did better than I expected to and I am grateful that I was able to finish the race. This was also a course PR for me by a whole 6 seconds!! Woohoo! I finished in 1:53:20 (8:39 average pace) and earned my cute little surfboard medal.

After I race I spotted Emily (Haute Chocolate Runner) who I met on Instagram. I went over to introduce myself and chat for a little bit. The girl ran another BQ and is pretty humble about it. She is super nice and I am glad I had the chance to finally meet this pretty lady in person. She didn't even look like she just ran a marathon. I was a sweaty mess from just running the half!

After chatting with Emily for a while, I took my son to play in the ocean. He had a blast with my running buddy who also ran the half marathon! This was his treat for waking up early and waiting for me to finish the race.

I didn't bring any clothes to change into so I just wet my feet a little and then watched them from a distance...and played on my phone.

Anybody else run Surf City? 

Tell me about your race :)

I Finally Have Some Answers!

I finally have some answers as to what is causing the pain in my left knee. I am also relieved that I don't have what I would consider an "injury" that I brought on by running or doing something dumb. I am very grateful that nothing is torn and all ligaments and tendons appear to be intact. I have what is called a Baker's cyst behind my knee. This is basically what it is:

Source

What is a Baker's cyst?

A Baker's cyst is a pocket of fluid that forms a lump behind the knee. A Baker's cyst is caused when excess joint fluid is pushed into one of the small sacs of tissue behind the knee. When this sac fills with fluid and bulges out, it is called a cyst. The excess fluid is usually caused by conditions such as rheumatoid arthritis or osteoarthritis that irritate the knee. It may also be caused by an injury. Sometimes the pocket of fluid behind the knee can tear open and drain into the tissues of the lower leg. This can cause swelling and redness in that part of the leg. A Baker's cyst may go away on its own. If a cyst does not go away, or if it is causing a lot of pain, your doctor may drain the fluid with a needle. (source)

I have been in physical therapy for two months now and it seems to be helping. My doctor is hoping that the cyst will shrink on it's own or else he will have to drain it. I am trying to avoid that because I hate needles. I am thinking that I will have another MRI to confirm that the cyst is shrinking or if the pain goes away then I will know that it has and it will not be necessary.

I have been able to run while in physical therapy because I have not had pain while running. There are times that I still have the knee pain but it is always the day after. I also noticed that running hills also irritates my knee so I am trying to avoid hills as much as possible. I am going to continue to run but I have to take it easy for a while since anything over a 9:00 pace seems to trigger the pain the next day.

Running has been different lately. It hasn't been about pace at all but simply being grateful to run and accepting it for what it is. Having said that, I have decided that I am going to run the Surf City Half Marathon on Superbowl Sunday. I am thinking about completing the Beach Cities Challenge again because the medal is super nice.

I am not sure what to expect and I am going into this without a time goal. I know it will not be a PR but I will set a goal to finish the race. I know that I will get back to running the paces that I was before this knee problem so I have accepted that and I am looking forward to getting back into it when my time is right.

Who else is running Surf City next Sunday?

Half or Full Marathon?

Almost Wordless Wednesday

Need I say anything else?

A Less Than Exciting Week and It's Race Week Again!

It's been a week since I last blogged! I guess that can be explained by my less than stellar week which included the following not so exciting events.

1) I had to report to Jury Duty but I was not selected to sit on a jury. I was relieved to say the least.

2) I  attended a funeral for a family member. My step-father's sister passed away and it was a very emotional funeral to say the least.

3) I cut my long run short. It rained for most of the weekend so I thought I would attempt 10 miles on the treadmill. FAIL! My run was horrible from the start and I felt like I was dying at a 9:30 pace. I then proceeded to torture myself by running a 7:30 mile to end the run. I felt better in the end but only ran 6.5 miles because 10 miles on the mill was just not happening! Anything past 8 miles is hard for me unless my treadmill buddy runs with me to talk and pass the time.

I have another half marathon on Super Bowl Sunday. It will be my second half marathon of the year. The race starts at 7:45 am and since I wussed out and transferred to the half marathon, my bib number is assigned to the very last wave with the 3:00+ group. Is it wrong for me to sneak into a wave that starts according to my half marathon pace? I have been told that the course has no shade and even though the weather is cool it is pretty sunny. The marathon starts at 6:30 am which is a much better but that is what I get for not running the marathon, right? On a positive note, I am pretty excited about running my first race in the Beach Cities Challenge series and the surf board medal is pretty cute too! I have no goals for this race. I have been pretty bad about setting goals lately. I just want to run pressure free. This year I really want to focus on improving my marathon time and that is kind of where my mind is at. 

I am hoping that this week is better than last week and that the weather is decent on Sunday. The forecast is predicting a high of 66 and a low of 54. I will take it.

Anybody else racing this weekend? 

Any big plans for Super Bowl Sunday?

I am not a big football fan but I will be watching it with my Grandma. She loves football! I do love the commercials though.

Are you focusing on a particular distance this year?

My mind is focused on the marathon but I haven't registered for one yet.

The New Love of My Life and Wussing Out

Isn't she pretty? I love her! I finally gave in and bought it. The words "Special Edition" forced me into buying it. My 305 has been acting up lately so it gave me a good excuse to buy this new 610. I played around with it a little bit last night and I am looking forward to taking her on a test run this weekend. I think I might even give her a name but I haven't thought of one yet.

Moving on to things that are not so exciting...I decided that I am going to run the Surf City Half Marathon and not the full. I know..I am a wuss! After carefully weighing out my options, I decided that I did not feel 100% confident with the training I have put in. I don't want to mess around the marathon anymore if I am not ready to get out there and take care of business. The next time I attempt a marathon, I am going to be ready to take it on. I am still on track for earning my Beach Cities Challenge medal and I will definitely be running this race for my Dad. I have not set a goal yet but I know that this race will be different because I will running it with my heart.

Do you have a name for your Garmin? If you do, tell me what it is!

Anyone else running Surf City with me?