Goodnight my "Baby"

Roxy and Baby: June 2010

For those of you who know me very well, you know that my dogs mean the world to me and I would spend my last penny to save their lives if I could.  I love my two Pomeranians, Baby and Roxy, to death but I think that Baby is my favorite because it's mutual...I am his favorite too!

Baby playing at the park in healthier times.

I found Baby running in the streets near my house on January 1, 2007.  He was clean, sweet as ever, and I just could not figure out why somebody would lose track of such a cute dog.  I put up signs from one end of the county to the other and nobody claimed him.  I decided to keep him in spite of the mixed feelings of the other people in my home and I am glad that I made that decision because he is the most loyal friend that I will ever have. I never knew how old Baby was or when his birthday was so I always celebrated his birthday on January 1, since that was the day that he came into my life.

Sleepy Baby is his bed, which he loved!

It wasn't long before I figured out why nobody ever claimed Baby.  Baby coughed a lot and when I took him to the vet to find out why we discovered that Baby had a heart murmur which shortly turned into Congestive Heart Failure.  The vet put him on some heart medications and he seemed to do just fine for a couple of years.  Baby loved to eat and be with me, so when he failed to do one or the other, I knew that something was wrong with him.  In February of 2010, Baby got really sick and the vets could not figure out what was wrong with him. They knew it was something serious by his blood panel and he needed to be hospitalized.  He wouldn't eat and when he did, he would throw up.  After several tests and many ultrasounds, I found out that Baby's gallbladder was full of bile and was not emptying itself as it normally should. I was referred to a specialist and they put Baby on some medication that shortly brought him back to his normal self.  His blood tests also revealed that his kidney values were extremely elevated and that he was in the early stages of kidney failure. Baby was then started on subcutaneous fluid therapy.

The vet taught us how to give Baby the fluid therapy at home and we faithfully gave him his fluids daily.  The needle was just huge to me and Baby never cried or even flinched. I always wondered how Baby tolerated that kind of pain. He even learned that when his fluid treatment was done that he would get a special treat so eventually he became excited about it.  On top of the fluid therapy, Baby took five different types of medication and he didn't seem to mind it and never gave us a hard time to take his medication.

Since Baby had congestive heart failure he coughed on a regular basis.  About a month ago, I noticed that Baby was coughing more than usual.  It was keeping him and I up at night and I knew that he was not resting like he normally did.  It was time to visit the vet to check if his condition was worsening or if he was having some other kind of problem.  The vet took x-rays and found that Baby's trachea had collapsed which made breathing very difficult for him.  This problem is common in small dogs so there is nothing that actually causes it to happen.  There is medication that helps to open the airway but it causes the heart to speed up and since Baby had heart trouble he couldn't take the medication. The vet gave him a different type of medication but it really affected his appetite and his personality.  He needed to take this medicine to survive so that was just one more pill for him to take.

Baby refused to let his Mommy leave without him!

Baby loved super balls!!

Enjoying a Doggy Donut!

I enjoyed whatever time I had left with Baby and spoiled him rotten with all of the things he loved!! So what did Baby love....super balls, empty toilet paper rolls, Roxy's pink monkey toy, Greenies, table food of any kind, car rides, his bed and most of all me ...his Mommy!  

Both of my babies love to go for car rides!

 Baby and his/Roxy's Pink Monkey

I dreaded the day that I would have to send this "Baby" of mine to doggy heaven because he had become such an everyday part of my life.  That day finally came on Friday, August 18, 2011 at 5:40pm. I knew that he was not feeling well because his appetite was poor, his energy level was way down and he just didn't seem like himself.  I knew that his quality of life was not what it should be so I took him to the vet to see what was going on. His blood tests revealed that he was in the advanced stages of renal failure and there was not much more the vet could do for him.  Fluid therapy was an option but with his heart problems the vet felt that this would have caused him further complications.  

This is the very last picture that I took of Baby at the vet.

The vet looked at me and told me that he was very sick and that it was time for me to let go. I held him in my arms, kissed him and told him how much I loved him in the final minutes of his life.  This is one of the most difficult and heart breaking decisions that I have ever had to make in my whole life.  Baby was like a child to me and I love him to pieces and I always will.  I hope he understands my decision and knows how much I love him and that I did my best to give him a happy life for the short time that we were friends.

Another super ball....

Although this is a very tough time for me, I keep reassuring myself that I did the right thing, the humane thing, and that I did everything that I could do to keep Baby alive for the last couple of years. I have lots of guilt over my decision at times but I have found amazing peace knowing that he is no longer suffering. I could no longer keep him here for me. I loved him too much to be so selfish.

Christmas Day 2010

Rest in Peace my Baby.  I will always love you and I will never ever forget you and the happiness that you brought to my life for the short time that we shared together.  I hope you are having fun in Doggy Heaven :) 

I will miss coming home to this!

RIP Baby: August 19, 2011