May 31, 2012

Am I Back?

May was a pretty decent month full of mostly solid runs. I have to work a lot harder for my runs but the effort is there. I ran 92 miles in May, the most I have ran this whole year. In May I ran a half marathon and a 10K.  Neither one of my races were PR's but then again I was just focusing on being able to finish and running without pain. Coming back from an injury is a scary thing. The thought of re-injuring yourself lingers in the back of your mind and every little ache and pain worries you. I am trying very hard to get rid of this mindset while still remaining cautious but I can't lie, it's been very difficult. 

The more that I think about it, I cannot consider myself "BACK" until I do something that impresses myself! Yes, I am incredibly hard on myself! When you know what you have accomplished in the past, you tend to hold yourself to those levels and anything else is just not worth talking about. I know that every race cannot be a PR and up until now I have not attempted to push myself or strive for anything great. I don't want to be disappointed with myself more than I already have been for the last few months. Things have really changed for me. My body is not familiar with the weekly mileage that I used to put in.  I can no longer run 13 miles on any given day without feeling tired or sore. I get tired way faster than I did in my better days. My endurance is simply not what it used to be! Sometimes I get so frustrated with myself that I have considered giving up on running but my love for running won't let me. I guess recovery takes time and even though I am thankful as ever to be running again, I still need to be patient with my body and take my time building myself back up to where I want to be.
My next race is not until September and I am not sure what I will shoot for but I am going to start pushing myself a little harder so that I have a goal to work towards. I have a training schedule that I have been working on since this injury first happened and I think it's almost time to bust it out and get busy!!  I can't wait for the day when I can confidently come back here to tell all of you that "I AM BACK!"


  1. ok I will be the one telling you what you know
    you are too hard on yourself!
    yes you are!

    look at that 36-74-92
    I know you think of what you know you CAN do..I get that of course.
    I see PROGRES
    huge progres!
    I know the endurance thing is frustrating but it will come back, it will.
    if you are ever looking for a easy summer race there is one in July in Cypress, 5 and 10K. 10K is double loop. Course is flat.

  2. You are handling this just right--the caution is a good thing for your body (even though I know your mind is still going a little crazy). That's a great total for May. I think you will *know* when you can say "I am back." Can't wait to see what you decide to shoot for in the race.

  3. Thank You Terzah. PR is always in the back of my mind but I have learned to go with what I feel, especially these days, and that does not always happen! I worked hard for those 92 miles and things are still not 100% normal so I am just hopeful that eventually things will be normal again.